Dear Avril Lavigne:
You have officially ruined Canadian / American relations. We let the sacking of Washington go. We sort of hummed along to a couple of Bryan Adams songs and we laughed along with Kids in the Hall.
But you, Bieber, and your piece of shit husband Nickelback* have awoken what the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto called a “sleeping giant.”
We’ve talked amongst ourselves, because yes we are (sort of) a democracy, and we’ve decided there is only one reasonable course of action.
Get your affairs in order. The nukes will start flying in 10…9…8…
*I know she’s not married to the entire band. Canada only JUST made bigamy illegal